You speak for the wrong reasons (and I do too)
I reckon, subconsciously, when we take the stage to speak in public, we do so for the wrong reasons.
Consciously, I think we take on the responsibility of public speaking for loads of good reasons: to share an important lesson, to meet new clients, to grow your business, to help strangers, etc.
I suspect our primary subconscious motivator when speaking to a crowd, however, is: "I want to receive good feedback". I've coached everyone from solo consultants to multiple CEOs of the 'Big Four' firms, and I've observed it in almost everyone. And please understand, I totally get it. We all want to be liked. We’re social creatures and we’re programmed to be terrified of rejection.
Public speaking is like a crucible for the soul. It puts you in the heat of the fire. It leaves you exposed. Even the hardiest individual can feel emotionally battered by a public speaking opportunity gone south.
This environment plays with our psychology. It makes us do things not because they're a good thing to do, or the right thing to do, but because we think it will placate the crowd, and make them like us. We become accidental liars, twisting the truth here, adjusting who we are there, all in the pursuit of good feedback from the audience.
That's not leadership.
A good speech has a mission. It has a goal. It has a plan. A great speech doesn't compromise its desired outcome to tell the audience whatever they want to hear just so that the speaker can receive encouraging feedback.
Which is not to say that you shouldn't deliver immense value for the audience, because of course you should! But there's a subtle distinction to discover in the space between 'good feedback' and 'profound value'.
If after your presentation, in response to the question "what did you think?" an audience member says "that was good", then your speech has been a failure. Ask them again in a week, a month, or a year what they thought of your speech and their new (and true) answer will be "no idea, I can't even remember it".
If, however, their initial response is "wow, I hadn't thought about it that way", or "I'm not sure, I'm a bit confused by your perspective", or even "I completely disagree, you haven't considered XYZ"... ask them again in a week, a month, or a year and they might now say "that speech completely changed how I think about this problem".
Speak for big impact. Not for good feedback.
Paradoxically, in the long run, that will get best feedback of all.
PS - If you have a big speech coming up and you want some help being more entertaining, more likeable, and more profitable... please get in touch (col@colfink.com).
Photo by Teemu Paananen on Unsplash