Shift the tone of self improvement

There’s a paradox at play when you consider the idea of self-improvement.

See, at the core, the motivation for improvement comes from a desire to be happy. We want to get fitter, or better at public speaking, or accredited in a new skill, because we think that change will make us happier somehow.

And, in my experience, the way most people approach self-improvement makes them unhappy much of the time.

Unhappy people, of course, tend not to maintain motivation for long, and thus the self-improvement never occurs.

Quite a quandary.

If we want to succeed in cultivating an improving self, I think we need to shift the tone of the inner dialogue of self improvement.

In my experience, it’s much more productive to adopt a tone of curious enquiry, rather than what seem to be the default, a stern directive.

It’s great that we want to change, and become better people, but rather than flagellate ourselves into a new reality, let's do it by encouraging and helping ourselves. The goal should be to become the best version of ourself possible, rather than try to become someone else.

Don't abandon the project of self-improvement. Instead, create experiments designed to work out what makes your inner puppy happy and achieves what you want to achieve.