Authenticity

At this point, I have coached hundreds and hundreds of people. In public speaking, leadership, and business development.

No matter the domain, and almost no matter the person, something I’m consistently asking people to do is share more of themselves—their true selves, if there is such a thing—with the world.

Our desperate need to fit in, driven (I assume) by our evolutionary history as social beings, seems to blunt our ability to share what is unique about us. Of course, fitting in socially is nice, but hiding in a crowd is exactly what we’re trying to avoid when public speaking, or leading, or growing a business.

If you google “how to be a good speaker”, none of the advice is going to suggest you mimic Hans Rosling and his manic, chaotic and incessant style of delivery. And yet his presentations were absolutely captivating. (In particular, watch the bit from about 3:40 onwards, it’s hilarious).

Megan Washington has a debilitating stutter in her speech… and yet this is one of the most powerful presentations I’ve ever seen.

Tim Urban is easily smart enough to fit in, and probably to be quite successful when doing so… but instead his wildly successful TED talk discusses his horrendous propensity for procrastination.

None of these speakers fit the mould we are taught to think of as a “great presenter”, and yet… they are all better than great. They’re absolutely amazing.

Powerful.

And memorable.

Why?

Because we truly get the sense we have met that person. We have not been witness to a veneer. We have met the real, authentic human, and we feel like we know them, imperfections and all.

Please, stop trying to fit in.

Stand out.