Are you too polite to ask for what you want?
One of the things about life that I’m most grateful for is being surrounded by incredible good people. I barely know anyone who I think is a complete bastard 😂
I don’t agree with everything I see and hear in my various familial, social, and professional networks of course. Even when I’m in firm disagreement with someone, however, I almost always get the sense that they’re a genuinely good person who is trying to make the best of this life for themselves, their family, and the wider society they are part of.
I’m surrounded by kind, caring, conscientious people. It’s magic.
And, among this broad pool of people I know, I've noticed something that often separates those that are seemingly effortlessly successful, and those that find certain aspects of life more challenging. Particularly those aspects associated with growing their influence, having an impact, and/or earning more money.
Life seems a lot easier for people who explicitly ask for what they want.
Importantly, this comes at no cost to anyone else. Of course there are terribly annoying people out there who constantly ask for what they want at great cost to everyone else, but they’re not conscientious people, are they?
Conscientious people who ask for what they want, do so in a way that is conscientious, of course! It’s like my essay about marketing from a couple of days ago; shitty people do shitty marketing. If that annoys you, the salve is not to avoid doing any marketing, but to avoid being a shitty person!
Similarly, if ‘takers’ who ask for things constantly put you off asking for what you want, you’ve taken the wrong lesson from the interaction. Generous people can ask for just about anything and it won’t annoy anyone. So be generous, and ask for what you want.
If you’re seeking a promotion at work, go talk to the people who will have some influence on that decision and let them know that’s what you want.
If you’re seeking testimonials for your business to put on your website and collaterals, call 10 good clients and ask them to record or write one for you.
If you’re seeking referrals to find new opportunities for your business, contact the influential people in your network and ask if they’ll spread the word on your behalf.
Don’t waste all the effort and energy you’re spending by hiding yourself in a hole of conscientiousness. Put your hopes and dreams out there, and some of them will materialise.
Right now, I’m working on growing my contact list, so if you know someone who would find ideas like this interesting, please send them a link.